INTENTIONALITY IN ISOLATION
When I first returned home after COVID-19 hit, I was determined to make the best of the situation, and to enjoy the extra time I now had to rediscover old friends and hobbies that I’d somewhat neglected during the hectic ups and downs of Team life.
I spent several days immersed in books, anime, phone calls, siblings, creative projects and memes before I finally stepped back and realised that I was feeling consistently frustrated, confused and depressed.
What had gone wrong? I wasn’t slacking off on prayer or lifestyle; I wasn’t too worried about the future; I trusted that God knew what He was doing and He had a plan to bring good out of all this.
The problem was that I’d stopped being intentional.
If, like me, you’ve been filling your days in isolation with all kinds of things and you’re still feeling directionless, confused, or like you’re not getting enough done, then perhaps you’ve encountered that same problem. If so, this one goes out to you.
WHAT IS INTENTIONALITY?
Simply put, intentionality is knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing. It means that you think (even just for a second) before you act; that you are freely choosing to act; and that your decision to act is based on some kind of value that you hold.
I like to draw a contrast between intentional and reactive decision-making. Intentional decisions come from knowing yourself, knowing what you value, and making the free choice to act in accordance with your values. Reactive decisions, on the other hand, are made in response to a reaction you have to something external.
For example, if my friend says something that hurts me, and without thinking I say something hurtful back, that’s a reactive decision. But if I take a moment to consider how much I value the friendship, and then I act in a way that will preserve it – perhaps by asking them to clarify what they meant, or by explaining how I interpreted their statement – that’s an intentional decision.
WHY IS INTENTIONALITY IMPORTANT?
Reactive decisions aren’t always harmful. For example, I might feel cold and reactively put on a jumper! But God gave us reason and free will for a purpose (intentionally, you might say...), and to be intentional is to honour that gift and to make the most out of the life He has given us.
If I simply react to everything, I never challenge myself to grow beyond my basic impulses. I risk becoming lazy, apathetic, and closing myself off to the joy of acting with purpose.
But when I choose to overcome my instincts and act intentionally – for example, by eating something substantial when I’m hungry instead of snacking all day – that is how I become disciplined.
Intentionality goes beyond discipline, however. I might desire to be fit and healthy, but not know why. I could work out, eat healthy, drink water and get plenty of sleep, and I would certainly become disciplined – but if I’m only doing it because that’s what everyone else is doing, then I’m not really being intentional...and I doubt I’d stay motivated. But if I decide that my body is a gift from God and I want to honour it – and then I do all those things, now that’s being intentional. And because I have a clear intention, I’m much more likely to stick to my regimen!
We need intentionality to grow in virtue (the habit of choosing what is good), and to be good stewards of the time God has given us. If you think about it, none of us even deserve to be alive, much less to be in charge of our lives. Yet it’s so easy, especially during isolation, to take life for granted and spend hours upon hours doing things that are meaningless, unproductive, and leave us feeling empty and depressed – or worse, doing things that seem productive, but which don’t really fulfil us or bring us closer to the Lord.
Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t ever watch movies or eat chocolate or reorganise your room or enjoy a well-crafted meme. I’m just saying that you should be intentional about those things. Everything good in this world is a gift from God, and He wants us to enjoy those gifts. But we can’t fully enjoy a gift unless we know who gave it to us, and why. Why are you doing what you’re doing? Is it giving you authentic joy? Is it helping you to love your God and neighbour, and to live out the calling that is placed on your heart?
HOW CAN I BE INTENTIONAL?
Step 1: PRAY!!!
Intentionality is not about doing everything ourselves. No, the foundation of Christian intentionality is surrendering our intentions, actions and outcomes to the Lord! Anyone can be intentional, and you can have good or bad intentions; but as Christians, what we value most is our relationship with God, and our ultimate intention should always be to glorify Him. So before you do anything, talk to God about it first!
Step 2: Examine your motives
It can be hard to do the right thing; but it’s much harder to choose when every option seems good, or at least neutral. But that’s the joy of intentionality: it doesn’t matter what you do, but why you do it! Why are you eating? Are you hungry, or are you sad? Are you open to God loving you through His gift of delicious food? Why are you learning that new talent? Does it bring you joy? Can you use it to love the people around you? Or are you doing it out of a sense of competition or insecurity?
The thing is, we usually have multiple motives for anything we do: some selfish, some selfless. And that’s okay. The important thing is not to let your selfish motives control you, and to keep coming back to your true motive whenever you are tempted to doubt or be discourage.
Step 3: Order your priorities
Like I said before, intentional actions are based on our values. But there are a lot of good values, and a lot of ways to act on them. So you have to figure out (with God’s help) who you are, where you’re being called, your current needs, etc. As you reflect, it should become clear(er) which actions you need to take now, and which you can take later.
These priorities are unique to each of us – even how we balance the basics like prayer, food, water, sleep, exercise, relationships and leisure time. But when you know what’s most important to you, that will guide your intentional decision-making.
Step 4: Act – and surrender
So you’ve prayed, formed an intention, and chosen your action. Now’s the time to, in the immortal words of Sheev “The Senate” Palpatine, “DO IT.” Don’t beat yourself up about whether it’s really the right choice, or how it’s going to turn out. Offer it to the Lord and trust that if you have made your decision with Him, He will bless you through it.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
When I realised how my lack of intentionality in isolation was making me feel, I knew I had to change something or risk doing serious harm to my mission, my relationships, and my mental health.
So the first thing I did was get out my prayer journal and list everything I hoped to accomplish during isolation: personal projects, Team obligations, social catch-ups, etc. Then I went through the list and asked myself why I wanted to do those things, and how they might help me love God, my neighbour, and myself.
Once I was satisfied that my goals were worthwhile and intentional, I still had to decide what to do and when. It was too easy to spend the day phoning my friends and putting zero time into ministry – or to sink a weekend into creative writing and go completely off the social radar. I needed more balance, so I sorted my goals into four categories. The most important category was for Team stuff: prayer, Team meetings, sisterhood catch-ups, and online ministry. The second most important category was for anything related to my long-term calling: developing my gifts and talents through creative projects, for example. After that came the wellbeing category: exercise, diet, sleep, and connecting with friends. Finally, the leisure category: reading, watching movies, looking at memes, etc.
It was then much easier to decide how much time to allot to each category. The balance is different each day, according to my internal needs and external deadlines; but I feel much more intentional about each task as I’m doing it, and that helps me to stay motivated.
My system isn’t perfect, and it won’t necessarily work for you. But I encourage you, if you’re feeling a bit directionless or unmotivated right now, to take a look at how you’re spending your time and see if you can be a bit more intentional with it.
Good luck!
Eilidh is from Hobart, but has also lived in Canberra, Radelaide, and Houston. She studied English, psychology and journalism at UTAS, and worked in the newsroom at ABC News Hobart before serving on YMT Sydney in 2019. Eilidh enjoys hats, anime, volleyball, The Wiggles (the originals not the new ones), creative writing and choccy milk. She is currently serving on YMT Perth.