Warriors: A Brotherhood’s Fight in a Battle Already Won
I had many hobbies in my high school days - mainly procrastinating, binge-watching The Office and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, making memes, and eating too much food. Somewhere down the list was soccer. Our school soccer team was not the most talented, but what we had was heart. Unfortunately, heart did not win games. We began a losing streak that seemed like it would never end, until one day we came up against a school that had far less talent. We were in a 6-nil lead by half time. We walked on to the pitch for the second half with more confidence than Ronaldo, and more passion than Kanye talking about Kanye. Little defender Sunny was nervous whenever a striker ran at him, but he wasn’t worried. Our team was stronger. I was nowhere near as fast or as skilled as some of their players, but that didn’t matter. Our team was stronger. We still had to fight, but we played with more skill and grace. We knew the victory was ours.
Pretty simple concept: the surer we were of our victory - the less worry and fear we had in achieving it. If a victory was 100% guaranteed then we wouldn’t waste any time thinking about defeat, would we? We would instead be filled with excitement, and the enjoyment of playing the game.
It’s the same deal with our spiritual lives! God already gave us the victory through Jesus (Hebrews 15:57). Jesus won something much larger than a high school soccer game, he won the spiritual battle on the cross. His love was much stronger than any opposition. Our team is way stronger. The battle is already won. However, this doesn’t mean we can ‘drop the ball’. We still have to fight – especially as men – to accept and live in the victory. And that, my brothers, is no easy task.
Dr. Phillip Mango, a psychologist, faithful Catholic and retired Marine, – paints a picture of masculinity: “Men as masculine are made to actively initiate love and use their strength to protect and promote that love”. There is a lot to unpack from this simple sentence. I’d like to explore three specific areas:
(1) The One Who Initiated First
(2) Intentional Initiating
(3) Using Strength
We love because He loved us first (1 John 4:19).
Sometimes I believe that it’s all on me. I bear all the responsibility to be a perfect son and love my parents, to be a perfect brother and love my siblings, to be a perfect Christian and love God. When I try to bear everything myself I fail… a lot. However, when I realise that my Father (the God of the universe) loved me first, and that I am simply sharing that love, I feel like a massive weight is taken off my shoulders! Yes, as men our mission is to actively initiate love; but our purpose is to first accept the love from our Father who always makes the first move. This is my first fight – fighting the want to be the ‘lone-wolf’ warrior. The John Wick who can take on the world. I have to swallow a lot of pride to accept that I can’t survive as a lone-wolf, and that I only exist because I am loved by God. If initiating love is an aspect of masculinity, then our God is much more masculine than any manly man can hope to be. So, our first fight needs to be against our pride. We’re not lone wolves, but we are warriors in a pack. We need God’s help, which may come in the form of support from other warrior men God has put in our lives.
But be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves (James 1:22).
There is a crazy big difference between ‘actively initiating’ and ‘passively allowing’. Now, I’ve binged watched my fair share of tv shows, especially since Netflix has come into my life. There is a similar pattern with each new show. The first episode is exciting, I heard a lot about the show and finally decided to watch it. I choose the time, the place, even the snacks and start. Its enjoyable because I actively chose to initiate it. Then auto-play counts down to the next episode… and the next… and the next. Finally, its 3am, my eyes are half closed and four words on the screen stare back at me, “Are you still watching?” I am watching, but I’m not actively choosing anything, I am barely awake and passively watching because it’s less effort than going to bed.
That is the same with actively initiating love verses being passively nice. Actively initiating love is exciting, its new, its selfless and often hard-work. It’s spending time with someone and actually being interested in what they have to say. It’s checking up on your friends when you think they’re having a tough time. It may even be just a little message affirming someone out of the blue. But sometimes we act passively; uninterested and do things half asleep because we don’t want to put more effort in. I usually end up here with people I’ve known for a while, especially family, going straight to my room once I’m home or not bothering in asking how their day is going. People, like Netflix, will notice. People, unlike Netflix, will not benefit by the passive version of you. Our Christian faith is proactive, never static. We are doers, not merely hearers. Jesus, our greatest example, was intentional in everything He did and never regretted a decision or action. He was intentional every day He worked as a carpenter (he didn’t slack on any orders for tables). He was intentional in every word he spoke in a conversation (he was loving, forgiving and also unafraid to call people on). He was intentional every time He prayed or chose to rest instead (even in the middle of a storm). We need to learn to actively initiate love in our every-day actions, especially when our fear of rejection is involved. For example: Ask to catch up with a man you look up to despite the (low) possibility of him saying no. Share your struggles and weaknesses with men you can trust despite the (irrational) fear that they won’t love the real you. Say no to a hangout if you really need introverted time. Discern what is good, set priorities and find no regret in intentionally acting.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).
We usually see strength in massive biceps and carved abs. I wouldn’t mess with Arnold Schwarzenegger. He could squash me and that scares me, that intimidates me. Some people believe there is strength in causing someone else to be fearful or intimidated. But that’s not true strength. True strength comes from a place of integrity and selflessness. Take the selfless strength of St. Maximilian Kolbe as he took the place of a man sentenced to death in a Nazi concentration camp. Kolbe protected a life and promoted love without throwing one punch! We need to be strong in who we are as men, so we can protect those around us and promote a selfless love in every-day actions. Our fight for masculinity is made much easier by learning from other men whose strength was grounded in God. One such man is Joseph the foster father of Jesus. Joseph was probably a young man, strong, athletic, handsome, chaste, and disciplined… on fire with love (Vulnerable Fulton Sheen). These qualities stir inspiration in the hearts of every young man. And the best news is they’re all attainable. Why not ask St. Joseph for help? Why not ask the man who walked his family to Egypt, the man who fought off thieves on dangerous roads, the man who raised God on Earth? Here’s a simple prayer, try it out.
Through the intercession of St. Joseph, we can learn to be men of authentic strength. We can use this strength to protect and promote the love offered to us by God, which we have the privilege to share with each other. We can also use this strength to overpower any fears and insecurities. And by using this strength, we can be a pack of warriors, to fight knowing the battle is already won.
At the ripe age of 22, Sunny spends his time with his three favourite things in life: God, food and dogs. When he is not staring down a burrito or running after a stranger’s dog, you can catch the man on a nearby hike or exploring streets and judging the architecture of houses. Sunny served on YMT in Sydney last year and is currently serving in his home state of Perth this year.