On This Mountain
“It isn’t Narnia, you know”, sobbed Lucy. “It’s you. We shan’t meet you there. And how can we live, never meeting you?”
"But you shall meet me, dear one," said Aslan.
"Are -are you there too, Sir?" said Edmund.
"I am," said Aslan. "But there I have another name.
You must learn to know me by that name.
This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”
C.S Lewis, Voyage of the Dawn Treader
I’m a wanderer. Any chance that I have to go outside and just wander by myself, I’ll take it. I find that my exploration of the seasons is a tactile, very personal invitation from God to see Him show off for me. And I LOVE IT when He does that. Have you ever let yourself be elated by spring’s joyful harmonies? Have you felt the thrill of winter’s cool dangers in its mighty breeze and frozen beauty? Have you noticed the warmth of summer’s sunset seep into the horizon, casting an ambient, orange glow as far as the eye can see?
“Anti, what’s your favourite season?” All of them! The beauty of the seasons reveals to me a greater truth of an even deeper treasure – the changing seasons of my heart. I love that just as the world around me reflects change, vulnerability and growth, so too the seasons of my life tell an enchanting tale of my increasing maturity, trust, faith and love which God guides me through. The stages of my own life are as large, beautiful brushstrokes on the canvas of the universe.
It’s kind of the best.
My absolute favourite time to walk is just before a storm. How do I know when a storm is about to rock my world? Nature will tell you, if only you’re willing to listen. All of Creation seems to pause and wait with bated breath. Then comes the rain. Have you ever heard nature sigh before? Sighing as it bows before a stronger force than itself. Sighing in acceptance of its littleness in the midst of a storm.
And then there’s me, caught up in the romance of it all - in God’s poetry in motion. Overwhelmed with awe and wonder for what is so much bigger than myself.
Sometimes when I go for a walk, I’ll listen to music or a podcast, but not all the time. This is because I believe fully that the relationship between silence and the world around me is a necessity in growing in maturity in the spiritual life. Here’s what I mean:
When a woman first realises that make-up only enhances the beauty that she already has rather than adding anything that she believes she is lacking, she becomes a powerful woman. Why? Because she is aware of her worth, and that goodness is not something that she can add to who she is, but something which she learns to unveil about herself. She could spend hours each morning looking herself up and down in the mirror, changing outfits and fixing her hair. There’s nothing wrong with getting ready for the day, but in doing so obsessively, she places herself in danger of missing the fundamental and only necessary truth of her morning;
That the present is all lit up with the ambient rays of eternity. To admit God’s presence is to be present.
Now get this: if the present is lit up with eternity, and my focus of my day is to be present, then I stand adorned magnificently in the robes of heaven itself.
‘Anti, aren’t you being, well, a bit dramatic? We’re talking about just listening to music on a walk, this feels a bit extra…’
I get ya. Admittedly, I’ve been listening to Yours to Keep by Sticky Fingers on repeat since the last forever. All I’m trying to say is that we cannot add anything to the beauty of any of God’s Creation. No amount of stimulation can alter or better the reality that God has placed around us, it can only alter our individual perception of it. (Which, by the way, is about as constant as an Australian prime ministership).
We must learn to sit with and bask in the rawness of unedited beauty. Start with what is around you, and you’ll learn to move to what is within you.
So, if you’re someone who always feels a need to be entertained or distracted, or who always needs to be hanging out with someone, talking about/watching/listening to something (or just anything in your more desperate moments), fair enough. We find ourselves in a world that values fast pace, promotes instant self-gratification, and that defines activity as accomplishment.
What you’ll notice about nature is that it is anything but fast paced - its constancy reflects the eternal, and we walk in the context of eternity, so seek what points you beyond yourself.
Stop. Walk slowly. Put your phone on do not disturb. Social media has no right to invade every encounter you have with goodness. If your attempt to ‘capture the moment’ detracts from letting God capture you in the present,
Put
The
Phone
Down
Sometimes golden hour should be experienced, not recorded.
I’m not saying silence is always comfortable, but that’s the point. Lean into the tension, the discomfort and the unnatural feelings of the quiet, and let Him speak.
When Jesus spoke in parables throughout Scripture, he used imagery and situations which were tangible and relatable to the people he was speaking to. The extent of his parables is not confined to the writings of the New Testament.
It’s not like when Jesus ascended into heaven he was like “aight, imma head out, I’ve used all my story-telling ability, good luck guys.” Instead, he gave us the Holy Spirit, by which he speaks personally to us daily using the very fabric of the world. For me, nature is one of the most vibrant, colourful means which he uses to whisper lovingly to this enamoured heart.
For example, not too long ago, I was feeling pretty ordinary. To quote a great poet, sometimes it feels like “it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year *claps in rhythm furiously*”. It was one of those days when it felt like I was doing everything wrong. I sat with God outside, and chose to be in the silence and the discomfort of the emotional turmoil I was feeling. All I did was invite the presence of God into my present.
In the silence, the wind picked up, causing a leaf from one of the branches that overhangs onto our balcony to be torn out of place, where it then floated around frantically for a few seconds before laying to rest on leaves of a branch below. It stayed there, positioned such that it was protected from the wind and would not be budged. I felt like God was using these little old leaves as symbolism for little old me. Though I’d felt that I’d had the rug pulled out from under me, and that I’d lost my peace, God was working in those around me to hold me up, and I could rest in the arms of the people in my day to day who know and love me.
Thousands of years ago, Jesus used the sparrows to teach the disciples about their worth in the eyes of God, and a couple of weeks ago, he used the leaves to teach this disciple about community, gentleness with oneself and rest. What is He tailoring to speak to you, restless heart?
It’s no secret that spending time outside is essential for every dimension of health. Sometimes, you’ve just got to get out. That said, it’s vital to note that nature is not escapism from reality, rather, it reveals and informs the transcendent quality of our home life.
Let’s jump backwards real quick to Genesis, to the very conception of Creation as we know it. What was it that God made as the pinnacle of his masterpiece? What final creation did He deem to be the best?
“Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion….so God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them…” (Genesis 1:26-27)
My dear one, it’s you.
We are attracted to nature because its beauty is transcendent, but being made in God’s very image, we do better than the towering mountain because our beauty reveals some truth of who God Himself is. That’s crazy!
Now home life may not feel like sunshine. Relationships do not always exhilarate us like the breeze, or refresh us like the rain, particularly our relationships with family. Sometimes they can feel more like the hailstorm that no one asked for which smashed the windshield of the car. But every grand oak tree was once a seed. And for that seed to become a tree, it had to grow every day, against all odds.
God doesn’t draw us out to experience beauty in the world around us for us to simply return home and ignore each other or grow resentful because relationships are hard. Instead, He draws us out to learn how to cultivate the deepest of beauties - the love that we grow for one another. No one except God can actually see the tree growing, the change is that gradual.
Soooo, now would probably be a good time to go back to the quote at the start of this post that I never addressed (such MYSTERY). Just as Edmund and Lucy in the Narnia series didn’t want to go without Aslan, so too can we be reluctant to leave the natural world around us where we can often experience God so obviously. Now let’s change the wording of the last sentence of the quote a little bit:
This was the very reason why God gave you Creation, that by knowing God in the world around you for a little, you may know Him better in the people around you.
Therefore, here is my encouragement for you:
Every attempt that you make to grow personally, spiritually and in your relationships is seen by God, even when you don’t see the difference. Look at the beauty of a garden. This is your heart, your mind, your relationships and your very soul. All of us are in the growing stage. As such, it can seem impossible to properly see that beautifully complex, textured symphony actually coming into fruition. Please trust that it is.
I think Better Homes and Gardens would really vibe with heaven, because I bet it’s full of these GORGEOUS flowerbeds that are the complex lives of the saints gone before us.
So, my brother/sister for whom my affection is so great,
Keep going.
Keep growing.
To my Victorian friends and family:
As I write, there are still COVID restrictions in place which significantly alter your lifestyles. In particular, every moment that you spend outside of your home. Being a Victorian interstate this year, know that the substance of my hurt manifests into my prayers for you.
Also know that there has never once been an instance in all of history where our own time or geographical limitations have stopped the action of God throughout humanity. Scripture has this knack for documenting how God uses the very specific, never to be repeated circumstances of His loved ones to reveal His salvation.
If it’s only one to two hours a day of outdoor activity beyond your house that you’ve got, it’s only one or two hours He needs. God’s grace has never been incapacitated by time. Remember too that each member of your household was created as the peak of Creation, and holds the image of the Creator who is the GREATEST of beauties.
Give Him your seemingly meagre hour, and He’ll give you His abundant heart.
Do you know of the widow in Scripture who only put two coins into the treasury?
“[She] has put in more than all of them; for all of them have contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in all she had.” (Luke 21: 3-4)
My beloved hometown,
Keep going.
Keep growing.
Anti is a 19-year-old Melbournian gal who loves mangoes, goats cheese, thunderstorms, and who maintains that water is objectively the best of the elements in the series Avatar the Last Airbender. She also likes literature, so appreciates big long words; particularly how ‘superfluous’ rolls off the tongue. (Try it!) Anti’s on her second year of YMT, after having served in Perth for 2019 and currently serving on YMT Sydney.