Freedom in Lockdown
The world as we know it has changed within these past 18 months. Lockdown is a familiar experience for all. I’ll be honest, we had a snap 5-day lockdown at the start of the year, and I definitely could have handled it better. I was fully convinced our YMT year was over. All I felt was disappointment and frustration. The reality was that it was only 5 days, and it went by so quickly. In no time at all we were in schools preaching the Good News.
I felt so silly that I had freaked out about something I couldn’t control, because God in his goodness had control of the situation. Going into this next lockdown, I had two options. I could either go into a deep despair, as I had done previously; or I could fix my eyes on God. It was so clear to me that the second option was the way to peace, joy, and freedom amidst the storm that God had placed in my life. Through my reflections I’ve found three things that helped me feel fully alive during lockdown.
1. Praising God
I learnt what it truly meant to praise God. I was forced in a way to look for the little things that God had provided. One day I was out on a walk, feeling slightly frustrated, and I came across a bucket on the side of the footpath, with a sign that read ‘help yourself.’ Inside were two ripe lemons; and I could not help feeling overjoyed of the Good Lord’s providence. I was determined not to let the lockdown situation steal my joy, but instead to see it as an opportunity to slow down, to stop and smell the flowers - quite literally. One day I was sitting in the back garden and literally smelling the flowers, marvelling in God’s creation. It can be quite easy to praise God when life is sweet, because you just have no reason to be mad. But when we praise God amidst terrible circumstances, there is something quite freeing that comes from it – from knowing that God is in the pain and suffering, and that something good will come out of it; that there is a purpose in it because of God’s great plan for our lives. Every joyous moment shared in sisterhood, every bird that chirped, every sunrise and sunset was good enough reason to believe that God is good, and He deserves my praise every waking moment.
2. Surrendering
We are so used to being in control of our own lives. To be in the driver’s seat with God in the passenger seat, being able to make plans and have everything go our way. With the sudden uncertainty that COVID bought, it was a huge wake-up call, forcing me to remember that we are not actually in control. It was a reminder to hand the wheel back to God, knowing that His plan is better. Even though I did not understand, I had to trust that everything would be okay, simply because God was with me. I was reminded of something I was told early on in my faith journey, which was that God will not throw anything at you that you cannot handle. In a weird way I felt so honoured to have been called to Team, to this location, with this sisterhood, when God fully knew what was in store for us. I had to surrender my mid-year plans, surrender our iStand camp and all the school ministry we had planned. For the first time in my life, I fully trusted in God. It was scary, but when I did it, I felt this inexplicable peace. I was no longer hoping that things would be okay - I knew that things would be okay. I realised that sometimes God throws things our way not because He wants to hurt us, but because He wants us to use it as an opportunity to trust in Him more.
3. The core of our mission
Through this experience I came to understand that there is so much more to our mission than the upfront things. We see all the external bits of ministry, the epic talks, the moving dramas, and outrageous icebreakers. But strip all that away and what do we have? We have prayer, our greatest weapon. The truest essence of our mission. Nothing is possible if we do not first saturate ourselves in prayer. There is no point if we are not fully convicted, if we do not have the fire of the Holy Spirit actively moving in our lives. It was frustrating being locked up away from home, having come here with a purpose and mission, and not being able to do it in the ways I wanted. But it was a reminder to come back to the roots of our mission – a reminder not to underestimate the power of prayer, and to have full faith that our prayers will be answered. It was a reminder to fight for the kingdom of God in a very real way, because the battle had not stopped. All the ideas I had about mission were suddenly impossible with the current situation and it was so easy to think that there wasn’t any point. But if we pray, we have already won half the battle. It is a witness of God’s love in our lives that we can then share with the world (perhaps virtually for now).
We may not be externally free, but we can take this time do discover that internal freedom which is found through Jesus our Lord. Although we are physically isolated, we do not have to be mentally, emotionally, or spiritually isolated.
So, do not be afraid of the unknown, and do not despair in isolation. As much as it’s hard to see, God is in it with us. When we trust Him, we don’t need to understand. Slow down, take deep breaths, smell the flowers, and be present. Perhaps these days will be an opportunity to notice the little things, when the big things are clouded with chaos and confusion.
Clare is a 19 year old from Murrumbateman NSW, who is very enthusiastic about tea. She loves dancing, long walks in the sunshine, and animals. Clare was recently introduced to the television series ‘Downton Abbey’ and loves it with a passion. She is currently serving on YMT Melbourne.